remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
