don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
