Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
