i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
