coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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