She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
