Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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