she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
