Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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