my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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