I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize