Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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