How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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