i permit you to call me
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
