My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Rumble strips road head = magical
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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