I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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