Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
