You're my little dorito
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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