I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
