I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Semen is not good for contacts.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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