if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize