Duck Duck Cougar?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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