eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
and you fell through a lawn chair
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
