Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I need a burrito and a hug.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
