you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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