This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
