help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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