My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
