does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
where am i from again
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Randomize
