My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
