I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
