it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
