He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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