Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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