My sheets look like a crime scene.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
