so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
