I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
