just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
