Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize