I skipped work to stalk him.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
