Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
