my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
