now i know why i became what i already was.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
