I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
