I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
