I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
