He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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