I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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