is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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