Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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