brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
