THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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