We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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