Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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