the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
A bitchslap is in order.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize