i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
