I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
love makes seman taste better
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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