You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
