We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
