i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
