So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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