You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
