I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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