I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
