It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
